Diana Rises From the Grave to Talk Shit About Meghan Markle

Today, on the 25th anniversary of Lady Diana Spencer’s tragic death, Tina Brown has used her intimate knowledge of British royal family history to channel the Princess from beyond her grave at her ancestral estate. Diana is a spirit guide now, and Brown, the author of The Diana Chronicles and a social friend of the Princess during her lifetime, is the Althorp Island Medium.

What do the necromancer journalist and the angel princess commune about from each side of the veil of death? There’s only one topic, of course: the Magickal Mrs. Meghan Markle, who many find quite bewitching.

In an interview with The Daily Beast — of which Brown was the founding editor — she recalls a lunch she had in New York with her Macbethian witch-sisters, Di and Anna Wintour, one month before the car accident that took Diana’s life. Diana was in transition mode, looking forward to getting her boys back from their endless summer vacation with the Queen, at that time a spritely 71 years young, and starting new charitable work.

“She was really excited about starting to do documentaries about her causes, and for that to fund her humanitarian work,” said Brown. “In some ways, it was a foreshadow of Harry and Meghan’s plan 25 years ago, with the one major difference that Diana didn’t see any profit in it. She was doing it as a charitable venture.”

Oh shit! But Meghan and Harry have to make money, right? is what I’d ask my Ouija board. Clairvoyant Brown, eyeballs rolling back in her head as she grips the table, disagrees.

“Diana was very protective of her boys,” Brown told the Beast, presumably after communing with Diana directly. “She would have been very, very protective of Harry and I believe very anxious about this direction they’ve taken. I think she would have felt Meghan was steering Harry in a direction that was not good for Harry. I don’t think Diana would have been the great fan of Meghan that Meghan herself might perhaps imagine.”

The grand implication from the outer limits here is a trope as old as the 400-generations-old Spencerian line of nobility itself: mother vs. daughter-in-law. Ever-graceful Diana would never do a podcast, never try to get an animated children’s show on the air, and never, ever own and operate a backyard chicken coop (Diana only pretended to like outdoorsy stuff while courting Charles). She probably wouldn’t name her daughter Lilibet, either.

Meghan’s a try-hard. Diana wasn’t. As somewhat of an afterthought, Brown added that Diana would have been “thrilled” that Harry met Meghan, “and that her son was happy. She would have been delighted, supportive and thrilled someone of mixed race was joining the royal family because Diana was so inclusive.” OK.

Here’s to hoping Brown can next summon Catherine the Great so she can ask her about the horse thing.

 

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